Rethinking masculinity to build healthier outcomes

In June, Equimundo—also known as the Center for Masculinities and Social Justice—released its State of American Men 2025 reportopens in new window. Its findings were sobering. The report points to economic insecurity, isolation, and adherence to a rigid masculinity ideology as major drivers of distress for men and boys. The report found 86% of men (and 77% of women) view being a “provider” as defining manhood, a gender expectation challenged by growing income inequality, wage stagnation, and job insecurity. They also found that men facing financial strain were 16 times more likely to report suicidal thoughts than those who were not. The report aligns with other concerning data about the well-being of boys and men in the United States.

U.S. health data show men are at greater risk for so-called “deaths of despair,” dying by suicideopens in new window at nearly 4 times the rate of women and experiencing fatal drug overdosesopens in new window at more than twice the rate of women. They accounted for almost 4 in 5 (78%) homicide deathsopens in new window between 2000 and 2019. While men’s longevity is improving (women outlived men by an average of 8 years in 1980), in 2023, they still lived shorter lives than womenopens in new window by an average of 5.3 years.

The nationwide loneliness epidemic is also taking a heavier toll on men. According to Gallup polling, 1 in 4 men under 35 report feeling lonelyopens in new window compared with 18% of women. While nearly 1 in 5 men experience a mental health conditionopens in new window each year, fewer than half (41.6%) seek treatment, compared with 56.9% of women. At the same time, men and boys are encountering gaps in education compared with women and girls.

The American Institute for Boys and Menopens in new window reports a 14-percentage-point gap in school readiness between boys and girls at age 5. Once in school, boys are 3 times more likely to be expelled. Male college enrollment has also been stagnating. Fifty-five percent of male high school graduates enrolled in college in 2022opens in new window, compared with 66% of their female counterparts. Overall, men are significantly less likely to obtain a bachelor’s degree, with a 17-percentage-point gap between them and young womenopens in new window.

These trends have fueled national discourse about a “masculinity crisis.” Psychologists caution against framing these challenges as a simplistic zero-sum contest where boys are losing ground to women and girls. They argue that such binary explanations create hostile competition and fail to account for the overall social, economic, historical, and cultural forces at work. Rather than signaling a straightforward decline in the status of men, they reflect a mismatch between rigid masculinity norms and the demands of a rapidly changing society.

According to Andrew Smiler, PhD, a developmental psychologist who studies the experiences of boys and men, “One of the definitions of masculinity is our culture’s expectations for boys and men. Every time the culture shifts in a substantial way, so do our expectations for men and for women. Whether we accept that change or fight against it reflects whether you think this is a crisis or just kind of a natural evolution,” he added.

According to Smiler, debates about masculinity resurface every 2 to 3 decades, often during periods of significant social and economic upheaval, such as during widespread joblessness during the Great Depression, anxiety about rising juvenile delinquency in the 1960s, cultural shifts sparked by advances in women’s and civil rights during the 1970s and 1980s, and the transition to a services-based economy in the early 2000s. Since 2000, the rise of a service-based economy has restructured gender roles by accelerating growth of higher-skilled, communication-intensive jobs that tend not to employ men, and by narrowing wage and hour gaps. Men’s participation has also declined due to the erosion of manufacturing.

From an early age, boys and men face pressure to conform to the “man box,” a rigid set of masculinity norms that include emotional stoicism, dominance, self-reliance, and rejection of traits or behaviors deemed feminine (Hill, A. L., et al., Preventive Medicine, Vol. 139, 2020opens in new window). Masculinities researchers posit that for many boys and men, manhood is a precarious social status that is difficult to achieve and tenuously held—one that constantly has to be proven (Vandello, J. A., & Bosson, J. K., Psychology of Men & Masculinities, Vol. 14, No. 2, 2013opens in new window).

This performative masculinity can cause persistent anxiety about being “man enough” in the eyes of others. As a result, boys and men often feel pressured to engage in risky or maladaptive behaviors to confirm their masculinity. Smiler added that the modern gender expectations of men and boys often contain contradictory elements that create cognitive dissonance. “You have to ‘be a leader’ and ‘a technical expert’ while not being ‘too invested in your academics,’” said Smiler. “‘Look good but not be too invested in your appearance.’ Inherently, [boys and men] can’t do it all.”

These mixed messages can leave boys and men struggling, making psychologists vital to bridging the gap between expectations and reality. Daniel Ellenberg, PhD, a psychotherapist and leadership coach sees this internal conflict play out in his patients. “There’s this confusion around who they are, how they relate to feminism and women, and how they find their place in the world,” said Ellenberg. “There’s this pull between being a tough guy or a nice guy.” His Strength With Heartopens in new window practice helps men to combine those two paradigms within themselves through a variety of modalities, including psychotherapy, workshops, and more. Ellenberg is also the founder of the Men and Boys Compassion Coalition, and, together with colleagues, he is working to teach boys and men that they can integrate feeling strong with being kind.

For Niobe Way, PhD, the issue is not masculinity itself but what our culture chooses to elevate. Way is a professor of developmental psychology at New York University (NYU) Steinhardt who has been studying social and emotional development among adolescents for almost 4 decades. As director of the Science of Human Connection Lab at NYU Steinhardt, Way argues that boys deeply desire emotional connection and have a natural capacity for it, but societal expectations discourage them from expressing these needs. “Boy culture,” as Way terms it, privileges stereotypically masculine traits (toughness, stoicism, and independence) while dismissing sensitivity and emotional expression as weak or feminine, despite all those traits being fundamentally human and requiring courage. Way’s coauthored research on middle school boys in the U.S. and China found that those who adhered to rigid masculinity norms were more likely to feel depressed, have lower self-esteem, and experience worse friendships (Journal of Research on Adolescence, Vol. 23, No. 1, 2013opens in new window).

“Boy culture reinforces a cartoon character of a boy as a person who only has a hard side and doesn’t have a soft side,” said Way. “Thinking and feeling do not have a gender identity. We have gendered what is human. Boys have a soft side. They have the capacity to be sensitive and caring just like girls and gender nonconforming kids.”

Way also contends that a narrow construction of masculinity harms girls, too, as they are encouraged to adopt boy culture as a pathway to future success. Research shows that adherence to masculinity norms like emotional stoicism correlates with increased school avoidance, decreased school liking, and decreased school engagement in boys and girls alike (Rogers, A. A., et al., Psychology of Men & Masculinities, Vol. 18, No. 1, 2017opens in new window).

Way added that while boys may be “suffering in a louder way” than girls, boy culture fosters an antisocial environment where all young people are starving for connection. She pointed to the results of the Harvard Kennedy School Institute of Politics Youth Poll Spring 2025opens in new window, which indicate that only 17% of young people under 30 say they have meaningful connections with other people. “Social health predicts mental health,” she said. “We can change our culture to be prosocial. All it means is nurturing the skills we are born with, such as interpersonal curiosity, which is at the root of all human connection.”

Y. Joel Wong, PhD, a professor of psychology at Indiana University Bloomington, has researched how conformity to traditional masculine norms impacts mental health. In a meta-analysis of multiple studies, Wong and colleagues identified self-reliance, a belief in male superiority, and sexual promiscuity as particularly detrimental (Psychology of Men & Masculinities, Vol. 21, No. 4, 2020opens in new window). “These three are kind of an unholy trinity that seems to be a problem for both boys and men,” Wong said. These expectations are deeply embedded in powerful socialization messages from peers, parents/educators, and media that equate masculinity with dominance, emotional detachment, and sexual conquest.

Masculinity is not monolithic and navigating restrictive gender norms manifests in complex ways for boys and men with marginalized identities. Asian American boys and men, for example, are confronted with stereotypes about the degree to which they meet such gender expectations and are often led to feel that their masculinity is conflicted or incomplete (Keum, B. T., The Counseling Psychologist, Vol. 51, No. 5, 2023opens in new window). “They are often seen as less masculine, effeminate, less sexual, and poor romantic partners,” said Wong. “The pressures and stress sometimes lead them to overcompensate by becoming better and stronger physically to appear more attractive.”

Black boys, meanwhile, experience adultification, a phenomenon in which they are perceived as older, more threatening, and more disruptive than their White peers (Hines, E. M., et al., Journal of Family Strengths, Vol. 21, No. 1, 2021opens in new window). As a result, they are disproportionately suspended and expelled from schools, and many wind up feeling invisible, according to Erik Hines, PhD, a professor of counseling at George Mason University who has studied adultification and its consequences. “If you feel invisible, that invisibility can manifest as internalized anger, which can outwardly express itself in negative ways such as trying to be perfect, physical and mental health issues like cardiovascular concerns and stress, or an inferiority complex,” he explained.

Latino boys and men often encounter a different set of cultural expectations rooted in machismo—a set of masculinity norms that emphasize hypermasculinity, dominance, reserved emotions, and the role of provider and protector. Machismo is multifaceted and includes prosocial traits such as caballerismo, which emphasizes the importance of chivalry, loyalty, and devotion to family. Traditional machismo traits have been linked to anxiety and cynicism about the intentions of others, and caballerismo has been linked with a higher tendency to experience anger when provoked (Nuñez, A., et al., Journal of Latinx Psychology, Vol. 4, No. 4, 2016opens in new window). However, caballerismo has also been linked with greater satisfaction with social support in other research (Estrada, F., & Arciniega, G. M., Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development, Vol. 43, No. 3, 2015opens in new window). Understanding the nuanced aspects of these norms is key to supporting Latino boys and men.

Media influences are especially potent in shaping beliefs about masculinity norms. The “manosphere,” in particular, is a loosely connected network of online communities that reinforces rigid views of manhood, promotes male dominance, contempt for women, and hostility toward gender equality. Controversial influencer Andrew Tate has gained traction by playing on the financial insecurities of young males while modeling aggression, entitlement, and control of women as masculine ideals (Haslop, C., et al., Social Media and Society, Vol. 10, No. 1, 2024opens in new window).

Such messages exact an emotional toll. A 2025 survey by the Movember Institute of Men’s Healthopens in new window found that young men ages 16 to 25 consuming online masculinity influencers’ content reported higher rates of emotional distress. They were more likely than young men who did not regularly engage with such content to experience feelings of worthlessness (27% versus 23%), nervousness (26% versus 19%), and sadness (26% versus 19%) than their peers. They were also less likely to prioritize looking after their mental health (45% versus 55%).

The manosphere is appealing because it offers a sense of belonging and validation, according to Adam Stanaland, PhD, a social and developmental psychologist at the University of Richmond who studies the impact of rigid gender norms. “The dangerous part is that you shouldn’t have your negative feelings validated in a way that’s going to put other groups down, whether it’s women or racial minorities or whatever Tate is espousing,” Stanaland said. “That’s why media literacy is crucial. Parents and schools need to teach kids how to navigate online spaces and think critically about content that’s misleading or harmful.” Stanaland’s research shows that boys going through puberty often respond with aggression when told they don’t fit traditional male stereotypes—especially when they’re pressured or judged by parents and peers—suggesting this stage may be critical for developing what he calls “fragile” masculinities (Developmental Science, Vol. 27, No. 6, 2024opens in new window). Stanaland added that exposing boys and men to a diverse range of male role models “from Paul Bunyan to RuPaul” will demonstrate that “there’s no one right or wrong way to be a man.”

AI is also changing the landscape of gender socialization. Saed D. Hill, PhD, a counseling psychologist, is examining how socially isolated boys and young men are using AI companions as romantic partners. These submissive and compliant tools offer constant validation and fantasy fulfillment but they do so at a cost. “AI companions and girlfriends provide sort of an emotional safe space where they do not really have to explore or be pushed a little bit in their emotional range like they might in a human relationship,” Hill said. He warned that such relationships can restrict the emotional and relational development of boys and young men, teaching them that dominance or stoicism, emotional suppression, and control are the ways to be in relationship. Hill encourages psychologists to be curious and nonjudgmental when discussing AI interactions with their male patients. The emphasis should be on exploring why these tools appeal to them and increasing their literacy about how AI companions are designed for engagement and profit.

Psychologists are working to highlight how the strengths of boys and men can be harnessed in clinical and educational settings. Two leaders in the field, Mark Kiselica, PhD, and Matt Englar-Carlson, PhD, codeveloped the positive psychology positive masculinity model that emphasizes noble aspects of masculinity (Kiselica, M., et al., in APA Handbook of Men and Masculinities, APA, 2016opens in new window). Kiselica, a professor of psychology at Penn State Harrisburg, defines noble masculinity as “the prosocial attitudes and behaviors of boys and men that have positive impact on boys and men themselves and the other people in their lives.” These include respecting women, valuing hard work, protecting others, caring for children, and serving the community.

Kiselica encourages clinicians to meet their male patients where they are and make action-oriented and male-friendly adaptations to therapy—such as taking a walk or shooting baskets during sessions—to build trust and encourage conversation. “I’ve worked in schools or agency settings where boys are having conversations about a wide variety of topics, including very personal matters, while they’re playing a game. Through game playing and other action-oriented activities, boys get to know each other intimately little by little over time. To enhance their work with boys, I urge psychotherapists to engage in the same type of behaviors to help boys and men to gradually tell their stories, express their concerns, and consider new ways to address their challenges in life,” Kiselica said.

For Englar-Carlson, a professor of counseling at California State University, Fullerton, where he is also director of the Center for Boys and Men, healthy masculinities consist of three core components: being connected, being authentic, and being motivated. Connection means fostering emotional literacy by helping boys and men “know what they feel and manage those feelings.” Authenticity involves resisting rigid gender pressures and embracing their full identity. Motivation, the third pillar, helps boys and men to maintain a sense of direction and adaptability in the face of shifting cultural expectations.

Englar-Carlson views healthy masculinities as a psychological target that clinicians, educators, and mentors can actively support in interventions with boys and men. “This is really about moving from a mental illness model to a mental health model,” Englar-Carlson said. He urged school professionals to be empathetic toward behaviors like “acting out,” which are often linked to emotional dysregulation, not willful defiance. “Being able to understand that as a teacher greatly changes your intervention. You have to reach before you teach,” he said. “You have to build relational connections with boys, and when you do and they feel that kind of safety, then you find that the temperature gets turned way down.”

Men’s mental health researchers Ethan Hoffmann, PhD, and Michael Addis, PhD, encourage psychologists to think beyond healthy masculinities. They distinguish between two theoretical approaches for supporting healthier outcomes in boys and men: reconstructive and deconstructive. A reconstructive approach reframes traditional norms like toughness or stoicism into adaptive, prosocial behaviors, while a deconstructive one aims to eliminate the man box altogether (Psychology of Men & Masculinities, Vol. 25, No. 1, 2024opens in new window). For example, seeking mental health help—seen by many men as admitting weakness—can be redefined as taking personal responsibility. Using the man box metaphor, reconstructive approaches modify the box’s contents to better serve boys and men. However, this approach is not without its limitations. “Framing help-seeking as something a ‘real man’ does still implies there’s a standard of manhood to live up to,” said Wong. Hoffmann warned that even positive redefinitions risk reinforcing the idea that masculinity is essential. “It still puts men in a box,” he noted, “just a different one.”

Deconstructive approaches take a more radical stance. They question the centrality of masculinity as an identity and make the case for eliminating the man box altogether. By encouraging boys and men to detach their self-worth from the need to be masculine, psychologists can promote gender role transcendence. “We are not saying masculinity has to be irrelevant,” said Hoffmann. “We are taking it out of the heavens and bringing it down to Earth so that it’s just one among many other identities, where we are weaving our priorities and balancing equities across different value systems rather than putting masculinity as the most important thing.”

The two approaches are not mutually exclusive and may be woven together to meet patient needs. Reconstructive strategies can serve as a bridge to deeper deconstruction, especially for patients whose identities are strongly fused with traditional masculinity. For example, clinicians might commend a patient’s bravery in seeking help (reconstruction) before exploring, later in treatment, why seeking help has been coded as “unmanly” at all (deconstruction).

WiseGuyz, a school-based healthy relationships program aimed at 9th-grade boys, takes a deconstructive approach to traditional masculine norms. Through facilitated group discussions, students critically examine those restrictive norms and build their emotional literacy. A preliminary evaluation of WiseGuyz participants showed significant improvements in mental health and friendship closeness (Exner-Cortens, D., et al., Psychology of Men & Masculinities, Vol. 21, No. 1, 2020)opens in new window.

Addis encourages clinicians to understand their patients’ unique relationship to masculinity and help them to interrogate whether those ideas protect or constrain them. This understanding then informs the deployment of various treatment methods like cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and more. “If I’m talking to a client, my questions are: What are his ideas about manhood? And how are they working for him in different parts of his life? How wedded is he to the idea that he needs to be masculine? If you have answers to those questions, you have at your disposal all the things you need to get started,” Addis said.